


The Talk

by ArrowheadProductions



Series: Nothing But Star Wars [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Ahsoka can't believe they've made it this far, Ezra is especially clueless, F/M, Fluff, Friendship/Love, Hope, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Kanan is not blind yet, Love, Pre-Season 2 finale, Sabine ships it, Secret Relationship, Sneaking Around, Team, Team as Family, The Talk, The kids are clueless, The rebellion comes first, Zeb is such a shit, minor references to sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-30
Updated: 2017-04-30
Packaged: 2018-10-26 00:27:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10775649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArrowheadProductions/pseuds/ArrowheadProductions
Summary: It turns out the force isn't the only thing Ezra desperately needs to be educated on.





	The Talk

**Author's Note:**

> I find it really hard to believe that the Rebels writers expect us to believe Kanan and Hera aren't completely in love and in an established relationship but whatever.

It had been an uncharacteristically quiet afternoon on The Ghost. They somehow managed to completely avoid any Imperial tracking and were on standby if the rebellion needed anything. Currently, the open space on the outer rim didn't hold much necessity for the alliance and they knew they'd soon be asked to go somewhere far more dangerous and exciting. Sometimes, the crew liked that, but after a hectic week where it seemed the Imperial fleet would reside permanently up their butts, it was nice to have a break. 

Zeb could remember the days before Ezra arrived, when some weeks felt like breaks. Things were monotonous, but reliable and he didn't have to wonder if all of his matters were in order on a daily basis. He would never tell the kid, but liked the way things were much better now. Since Ahsoka Tano joined the crew, the excitement expanded by the tenfold as it always seemed to every time a new force wielder came into the mix. He respected the Togruta and particularly liked her battle strategies. You could tell she used to be a Jedi or trained with the Jedi based on her tactical yet graceful plans alone. 

Even she was the closest to relaxed he'd ever seen her. She and Sabine lazily played one another in a game called crokin that Ahsoka had learned from previous ventures that she didn't openly disclose. He'd never thought he'd meet another person with more untold scars and experiences than Kanan, but he felt Ahsoka might have been his match. 

Aside from the sounds of flicking on the game board and muted grumbles when someone missed a shot, the cabin was otherwise silent. Even Chopper was keeping to himself, quietly performing self-maintenance or something. When life was usually loud and full of ruckus, it only made the silent moments all the more still.

That is, until Ezra came stumbling through the main hatch with an obvious and intense sense of dread in his voice. He slammed the door behind him and heaved liked he'd never tasted oxygen before. Ahsoka jumped to her feet on instinct, hands immediately dropping to her belt to grasp the metal hilts at her sides. Her eyes weren't fearful or reactionary though. She was ready to defend, but waited for the proper signal and was simultaneously calculating the possible exit strategies and nearest potential safe sapce. Sabine and Zeb exchanged a terrified stare. Both reached for weapons of their own. 

"Imperials? How many are there?" He jumped into a defense of his own. He was always ready to take on the odds and fight the good fight, especially these days. 

"No..."

"Is it Vader or Inquisitors?" At Sabine's question, Ahsoka's composure flickered and if he hadn't been staring at her for a plan, he wouldn't have noticed.

"No!"

"Bounty Hunters?" Zeb offered, though at this point their main threats were eliminated from probability and they'd all significantly lowered the weapons they either held or prepared to ignite.

"No." Ezra wheezed and rubbed his eyes furiously while he sank to the floor. "Oh God..."

"Okay, what the hell is going on?" Sabine snapped.

Ahsoka took a gentler approach since it seemed they weren't in any imminent danger. She knelt in front of the boy and spoke firmly. "Ezra, what did you see?"

"Kanan... And Hera..." He said. "It was awful."

"What happened to them?" She pressed.

"They were-- Well, I-- I thought maybe we could get Jedi training done early for the day since there wasn't anything going on, so I walked into Kanan's quarters and he and Hera were kissing... and stuff... And lots of stuff. I don't think they even noticed--"

The room fell back to silence, but a completely different caliber of silence. All were coming off the very realistic fear of being bombarded and slowly coming to the realization that Ezra had merely walked in on Kanan and Hera engaging in the horizontal tango. It took a little bit of processing to adjust, but each reacted in their own brand of laughter, transforming Ezra from horrified to downright embarrassed and frustrated. Zeb laughed all the harder at the redness of his face.

"Stop it! You  _knew_ about this?" 

"Wait, you  _didn't_?" Sabine shot back, still trapped in a fit of giggles.

"Seriously, kid, where have you been? Trapped under a crater?" He quipped.

"I--I thought they were just really good friends."

"Oh, they're good friends all right." Sabine burst. 

Ahsoka was trying to spare Ezra's feelings a little bit, by covering her mouth, but her body was shaking and her eyes gleamed with a laughter that they rarely got to see from the former Jedi, however judging by the ease that her body fell into it, showed that the sensation wasn't once unfamiliar to her.

"How was I supposed to know?" He fired back. "It's not like they've said anything."

"Of course not, because they like to think we don't know about it either. Something stupid about not wanting to let it get in the way of the rebellion or whatever." She scoffed. "I knew from the moment I joined up that they were together."

"Are they married?"

"Not that we know of, but I wouldn't be surprised."

"They act pretty married." Ahsoka agreed.

"So we just go along and pretend we don't know that they'd doing  _that_ a few rooms over?"

"These are trying times. Everyone needs their something."

"Or someone." Sabine said.

"Even the Jedi could tell and she wasn't even allowed such a luxury." Zeb referenced Ahsoka, who shook her head in response.

"I'm not a Jedi, but yeah, attachment and relationships were frowned upon by the order. However, I specialize in sensing people's emotions and feelings. I knew from the moment I met Kanan that he felt a great passion for Hera and likewise. The Jedi order is disbanded now, so I only assumed he found comfort in his affections for her."

Chopper beeped and flickered a series of buzzes that essentially conveyed the message: "you assumed right."

"Tell me, Bridger, how much did you see?"

"I'm trying to repress it all, I don't know!"

"Do you even know what they were doing?"

"Zeb--" Ahsoka began to chastise, but he ignored her.

He showed all his teeth in his wicked grin. "Have you ever wanted to do that?"

"Enough!" If Ezra's face was red before, it was on fire now. "I don't want to talk about this anymore."

"Wait, have you never gotten the talk?" Sabine wondered aloud. "You know? The Mynocks and the Gnasps?"

"When a man loves a woman..." Zeb jokingly began, but Ahsoka cut him off.

"There's nothing to be embarrassed about."

"There's a little to be embarrassed about." Zeb muttered and Chopper's robotic laugh reenforced this.

"Who was going to tell me about it, huh?" Ezra jumped on defense. "My dead parents?"

Zeb quieted down and Sabine coughed awkwardly. Chopper pretended to be doing something else. Ahsoka wore a look that wondered how the Spectre cell ever got anything done like this. Hell, she didn't even know how they survived like this. 

"Miss the old days when babysitting wasn't a necessary skillset?" Sabine offered.

The Togruta huffed, clearly reminiscing on a distant memory, one that must have been overall positive based on the smile it brought to her face. "One of my first missions involved babysitting. Huttsitting, for that matter."

"Zeb smells like a Hutt." Ezra grumbled.

"At least I know more than a Hutt." 

"Alright, alright." She raised a hand. "Look, Ezra, what you saw Kanan and Hera doing... That's called--"

"--Pound-town." Zeb smiled.

"Boinking." Sabine added.

"Humping."

"Making whoopee."

"Rumpling."

"Tapping that."

"Using a telescope to explore--"

"--Sex!" Ahsoka scowled. "They're having sex, which is how babies are made."

"They're trying to have a baby?"

"When two living beings really really like each other, sometimes they feel compelled to have sex for sheer enjoyment."

"Or if they were in a screaming match and hate each other with every fiber of their beings... Sweat from exertion of utter dislike and disgust building--"

"Ew, Zeb!" Sabine wrinkled her nose. "No one wants to hear about your weird hate-sex."

"Seriously." Ahsoka gagged a bit in spite of herself. "Ezra it's not for everyone, but if you decide at some point if it's for you and whoever also wants it with you, be very careful. One of the reasons Jedi were banned from forming personal connections, especially sexual and romantic ones, is because of the implied attachment that comes along with it."

"When it comes to sexual, wouldn't you argue it's not so implied?" Ezra asked and Zeb chortled loudly in the background.

"Good one, kid."

She shook her head. "Jedi must always keep a clear head and while I don't completely agree with the banishment of love, because I've seen it save people in ways the force cannot. If the Jedi were to ever rise again, I would hope they'd rethink that mandate, because love is empathy, kindness, and reason. It's often what really separates us from evil and what propels us to do good."

"Also, you don't want some random kid showing up and claiming you're his father." Sabine added. "But yes to everything Ahsoka said too."

"Ahsoka, you speak like someone who's had experience with this." Ezra started. 

"Like I said, I'm no Jedi." She got up and walked away as Kanan and Hera entered, pretending nothing had happened and that they didn't look completely disheveled.

"You alright?" Kanan asked Ezra, who quickly glanced at Zeb and Sabine.

"Er... Yeah. Just a little scarred, because Zeb was telling me about one of his ex-lovers."

"Ew!" Hera groaned. "Zeb, that's disgusting. Please don't corrupt Ezra on my ship."

"I won't if you won't."

"What was that?"

"Mmm? Nothing."

 

 


End file.
